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Pretty Pictures: Life-size oil paintings of Shaq as a Laker, Superman
OK, so here's the deal: A posting went up early Wednesday morning on Los Angeles' Craigslist site — in the "Computers - By Owner" section, oddly (although everything about this is odd) — offering art connoisseurs in the Newport Beach, Calif., area the deal of a lifetime.
You know how you've always wanted gigantic oil paintings of Shaquille O'Neal in both his Los Angeles Lakers uniform AND a Superman costume (which, let's be honest, the Diesel probably also considers a legitimate uniform of his, given how hard he's bought into the Kal-El thing) but have never been able to find museum-quality work for less than $100,000? We've all been there, and it's the worst. But finally, a pair of 7-plus-foot works of Shaq painted by an anonymous "famous Polish artist (famous in Eastern Europe and Russia)" can be yours for the low, low price of just $3,995.
If this seems like a stupidly ridiculous bargain to you, you're right, and the poster — who claims to be "liquidating a $2 million sport art collection" — lets you know so:
Valued at $100,000 each.
Includes a $3,000 frame
Includes a coffee table book, dedicated to Shaq by the artist
What's in that coffee table book, you ask? Stop asking questions, dummy, and start emailing the poster to put your four-stack bid in. You're basically making $96,000, at least, by buying one of these paintings. In this economy, that's just sound investing.
Is Shaq not your cup of tea? Well, first off, that's weird, because I'm pretty sure everyone loves all the stuff he does, like showing off his underwear on "Inside the NBA" and wearing a silly wig in "Grown Ups 2." But, OK, fine — no accounting for taste, I guess.
Luckily, this doesn't mean your home has to continue looking like a hovel — the poster's also got "mostly actual life size paintings" of Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, Muhammad Ali and, of course, Formula One legend Michael Schumacher. In other words, something for any fan's liking.
"If you have any idea about Fine Art the facts will speak for themselves," the poster writes.
I'm glad they will, because at this point, I'm speechless.
You know how you've always wanted gigantic oil paintings of Shaquille O'Neal in both his Los Angeles Lakers uniform AND a Superman costume (which, let's be honest, the Diesel probably also considers a legitimate uniform of his, given how hard he's bought into the Kal-El thing) but have never been able to find museum-quality work for less than $100,000? We've all been there, and it's the worst. But finally, a pair of 7-plus-foot works of Shaq painted by an anonymous "famous Polish artist (famous in Eastern Europe and Russia)" can be yours for the low, low price of just $3,995.
If this seems like a stupidly ridiculous bargain to you, you're right, and the poster — who claims to be "liquidating a $2 million sport art collection" — lets you know so:
Valued at $100,000 each.
Includes a $3,000 frame
Includes a coffee table book, dedicated to Shaq by the artist
What's in that coffee table book, you ask? Stop asking questions, dummy, and start emailing the poster to put your four-stack bid in. You're basically making $96,000, at least, by buying one of these paintings. In this economy, that's just sound investing.
Is Shaq not your cup of tea? Well, first off, that's weird, because I'm pretty sure everyone loves all the stuff he does, like showing off his underwear on "Inside the NBA" and wearing a silly wig in "Grown Ups 2." But, OK, fine — no accounting for taste, I guess.
Luckily, this doesn't mean your home has to continue looking like a hovel — the poster's also got "mostly actual life size paintings" of Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Kobe Bryant, Yao Ming, Muhammad Ali and, of course, Formula One legend Michael Schumacher. In other words, something for any fan's liking.
"If you have any idea about Fine Art the facts will speak for themselves," the poster writes.
I'm glad they will, because at this point, I'm speechless.
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