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TNA Impact Results - 4/28/11

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  • TNA Impact Results - 4/28/11

    TNA Impact Results
    April 28th, 2011

    We cut to the arena and Jeff Jarrett's music hits. All of the Knockouts are in the ring along with other female staff members. Jarrett and Karen make their way down to the ring with Karen holding an umbrella. Karen says that she's sure everyone is wandering why she called the females into the ring and she says her ex-husband has found himself a mistress to take a hit out on Karen. She says that before anything happens she's going to nip this thing in the bud. She says the women in the ring is her list of suspects. She says that she's going to start with grandma, an older lady who works in catering. Karen says she's been watching her the last few years and when Kurt Angle walks into the room she gets giddy. Karen says she's using the oldest trick in the book and says everyone knows the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. The caterer says she cooks for Kurt and 50 other wrestlers and asks if she's done so she can go back to the trailer and cook. Karen tells her to hit the road. Karen turns her attention to the seamstress and she says that the last few years she watched her run her fingers up and down Kurt. She says that she does her job and she makes Kurt's gear like everybody else, she has to get his measurements. Karen tells her to get out of the ring. She then she turns her attention to Ms. Tessmacher. Karen calls her good ole Ms. Funbags herself. She asks if it's a coincidence that Tessmacher & Angle arrived at the building at the same time and Tessmacher says since they're both TNA employees it's not odd at all. Karen says that she was told that Tessmacher & Angle were at the same gym at the same time and Tessmacher asks if she was told 20 other wrestlers were working out at the same gym at the same time. Karen warns Tessmacher that she's watching her. Karen calls Sarita and Rosita "Rice & Beans." Rosita is about to whoop Karen but Sarita holds her back. Karen asks if it's a coincidence that Rosita & Sarita use the American theme in their promos since Kurt is an "American hero." Sarita tells Karen to take her head out of her butt and pay a little more attention because they talk about Mexican America and they don't want nothing to do with the Gringos and that includes Kurt. Sarita & Rosita leave and then Karen looks at Madison and calls her whiny. Karen says Madison & Tara are former champions like Kurt and she bets they think they have a lot in common with Kurt. Madison says Tara does think she's special and she wouldn't put it past Tara to be with Kurt. Madison asks Tara if she has something to say and Tara spits her gum at Madison and leaves the ring. Karen says I guess she did have something to say and Madison tells Tara to keep her eyes on Tara because she wouldn't put it past her to be with Jeff too. Karen looks at Velvet and says it looks like they saved the best for last. She mocks Velvet saying she wants a new best friend and she calls Velvet a 6.5 on a scale of 10. Karen says Velvet has lost her best friend and she's gone as far as she's ever going to go in TNA but if she was able to land herself on the arm of Kurt Angle just imagine how far that would catapult her. Velvet reaches back to slap her, but Jeff catches her hand. He tells Velvet not to ever lay a hand on Karen so Velvet slaps Jeff! Karen shoves Velvet and Velvet attacks Karen! Angelina Love walks down in her trance with Winter trailing behind. Angelina grabs Velvet and slams her to the mat by the hair as Jeff and Karen leave the ring. Winter tells So Cal Val to ring the bell and she does.

    Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

    Angelina is choking Velvet with her boot in the corner. Angelina picks Velvet up and slams her headfirst into the top turnbuckle and then puts the boots to her. Angelina connects with a Forearm Smash and continues to put boots to Velvet. Velvet fights back with punches and kicks but Angelina answers with another Forearm as Winter screams at Angelina to get her. Angelina beats on Velvet and starts pulling on her hair. She locks in a Chinlock and then she goes for a clothesline, but Velvet ducks and starts kicking Angelina. Velvet chops Angelina and she just stands there with no reaction. Angelina then clotheslines Velvet and starts choking her again. The referee pulls Angelina off and so Angelina starts pulling her hair again and then slams her head to the mat. Angelina mounts Velvet and starts throwing right hands at her. Angelina picks Velvet up but Velvet scores with a Jawbreaker and then a clothesline. Velvet follows up with a series of Jawbreakers and then a Bulldog! Velvet talks trash to Winter and she rakes the eyes of Velvet as the referee checks on Angelina. Winter then snaps Velvet's head against the middle ropes and Angelina connects with the Botox Injection. Rather than go for the pin Angelina grabs Velvet and locks in a modified Sleeper, kind of like a Rear Naked Choke. Velvet passes out.

    Winner: Angelina Love

    After the match Angelina continues to choke Velvet out and Winter stops the referee from pulling Angelina off. Finally Angelina lets go and leaves Velvet laying.

    In the parking lot Mr. Anderson arrives in a big Ford pickup. Anderson talks about loving the truck as the camera man says something about it being a sweet ride. Anderson says again he wants his title shot.

    Matt Morgan is looking for Scott Steiner, he's not happy. Morgan says his only focus is finally getting his TNA World Title and Scott Steiner wants to throw a monkey wrench in his plan so he'll eliminate that problem before it starts.

    Mexican America are introduced out to the ring and Hernandez says "drop the colors holmes" and the Mexican flag drops down. Anarquia says all the gringos will salute their flag one day and we see a shot of Willie Urbania & Hector Guerrero saluting it. Anarquia says next week we will be celebrating Cinco de Mayo on Impact. He says "this land WAS your it belongs to us...MEXICAN AMERICA."

    Anarquia vs. Chris Sabin

    Sabin and Anarquia circle each other and then Anarquia jumps Sabin as Sarita & Rostia distract Sabin. Anarquia lights Sabin up in the corner with chops and then he connects with a Snapmare Takeover. Anarquia puts the boots to Sabin and then picks Sabin up but Sabin slaps his arms away and connects with a series of forearms. Anarquia comes back with a knee to the gut and then he whips Sabin into the ropes and attempts a clothesline, but Sabin ducks and connects with a Flying Forearm followed by a second one. Sabin whips Anarquia in the corner and hits a Flying Back Elbow. Sabin goes to the apron to climb up top and Hernandez attempts to take Sabin's legs out but Sabin leaps over him and then he hits Anarquia with a Forearm Smash as Anarquia attempted to hit him. Sabin then hits a Springboard dive onto Anarquia in the ring. Sabin looked like he injured his knee as he immediately reaches for it. He then covers Anarquia for a nearfall. Anarquia rolls Sabin up and gets the pin.

    Winner: Anarquia

    After the match Mexican America continues to beat on Sabin and Hernandez picks Sabin up and makes him look at the Mexican Flag. ALEX SHELLEY runs down! He tosses Hernandez out of the ring and then starts to swing his belt at Anarquia but he throws Rosita at Shelley and leaves the ring. Mexican America regroups on the outside and leaves as Shelley checks on his partner.

    In the back Steiner is playing golf with toy golfclubs and he gets pissed and throws the club. Steiner says Morgan claims to be the "DNA of TNA" but he'd shoot himself if he had Morgan's DNA. He jumped Morgan because he wanted to and he doesn't need a reason. He says if Morgan is looking for him, he's not a hard man to find. Steiner tells the camera man to go tell Morgan where he is at.

    Back from commercials Morgan is throwing stuff around looking for Steiner and he finds him. Steiner asks if he got enough last week. He's standing behind a curtain and then he throws some papers at Morgan and walks away. Morgan follows him but Steiner attacks him from behind and slams Morgan into a wall and then onto a table. Steiner talks trash to him while he beats on Morgan. He picks up a chair and slams it on top of Morgan and then does the same with a nearby table. He picks up a broom and chokes Morgan with it and he says he'll never be like Steiner, calling him Division 2. Steiner picks up an extension cord and chokes Morgan with it now. Steiner picks Morgan up and tries to throw him into a table but Morgan turns it around and throws Steiner onto it. Morgan then tosses Steiner into a bunch of chairs and starts choking Steiner. He chokes Steiner with a chair as Steiner says "IM SORRY!" and then Morgan throws Steiner into a TV monitor and then a refrigerator. Morgan tells Steiner that no one is going to get in his way and that he WILL be a World Champion.

    We cut to the parking lot where Sting approaches Mr. Anderson's truck. He calmly takes off his jacket and then starts beating the crap out of that truck with his bat! He busts out the windows and the headlights and then picks up his jacket and looks like he's about to leave, but stops and jumps up onto the truck and starts busting out the windshield! Sting beats that windshield with the bat and then sticks the bat in the hole and leaves it there as a calling card.

    TNA World Television Championship
    Christopher Daniels vs. Gunner

    Gunner and Daniels lockup and Gunner forces Daniels into the corner. He beats on Daniels and actually starts biting him. Gunner tosses Daniels into another corner and continues to beat on him. He whips Daniels into the ropes and connects with a big back elbow. Gunner picks Daniels up and connects with a Forearm and then he hits the ropes, but Daniels kicks him in the gut and then hits a leg kick. Daniels hits the ropes and clotheslines Gunner to the back of the head. Daniels ducks a clothesline and slaps Gunner on the back of the head. He then attempts to whip Gunner into the corner but Gunner reverses it only to have Daniels float up and over the charging Gunner. Daniels punches Gunner in the back repeatedly and then he hits a Forearm. Daniels whips Gunner into the ropes and then hits a Back Kick. Daniels comes off the ropes but eats a knee to the gut from Gunner. Gunner stomps on Daniels and then chokes him on the middle rope. He picks Daniels up and goes for a Fireman's Carry move but Daniels counters with a Crucifix Rollup! 1...2...NO Gunner kicks out! Daniels elbows Gunner in the gut repeatedly and then slaps Gunner. Daniels attempts to whip Gunner into the ropes but Gunner counters with a knee to the gut again and then he locks in a Waistlock on the mat. Daniels fights to his feet and breaks the hold with back elbows. Gunner cuts Daniels off and then hits a Front Vertical Suplex! 1...2...NO Daniels kicks out! Gunner stalks Daniels and lights him up with body shots in the corner. Daniels shoves Gunner away. Gunner charges at Daniels but Daniels avoids him by slipping between the ropes to the apron. Daniels climbs up top and grabs Gunners arms and then puts his foot into Gunner's chest and rides him down to the mat hard. Daniels connects with right hands and then he hits the ropes and connects with an STO! Daniels tosses Gunner into the corner and lifts him up to the top rope. Daniels hits a big Uppercut and follows up with the Fall From Grace! 1...2...NO Gunner kicks out! Daniels sets up for the Angels Wings but Gunner counters and runs Daniels into the corner. Gunner connects with repeated shoulder blocks and then he whips Daniels into the opposite corner. Gunner lifts Daniels up onto his shoulders again and again Daniels fights it this time with Back Elbows. Daniels grabs Gunner and connects with a Rock Bottom! Daniels then goes to the top and attempts the BME! Gunner rolls out of the way and Daniels lands on his feet! Daniels charges at Gunner but Gunner sidesteps him and shoves Daniels into the ring post! Gunner then lifts Daniels up on his shoulders again and connects with an F-5! 1...2...3!

    Winner: Gunner

    Sting's music hits and the World Champ makes his way down to the ring. Sting says that he doesn't know who had the truck outside but their lights were NOT left off and the windows were left down. Sting says he's trying real hard to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff but every time he turns around Anderson is in his face. Sting suggests Anderson come out right now and let's hatch this thing out.

    Mr. Anderson makes his way down to the ring with the bat that Sting left in Anderson's truck. Anderson asks Sting if he smashed his truck. Sting: "" Anderson says so the video he just saw of Sting smashing his windows out was a figment of his imagination. Sting says "yeah." Anderson asks him again and Sting laughs and says it was him. Anderson says okay and then says he'll get them replaced. He says he wont fall for Sting's game. He says blow up his whole truck and he'll get it replaced too. Anderson says if Sting wants to play this game every week that he'll one up Sting every time. He says Sting apparently has the authority to make this all stop, all he has to do is give him his title shot. He suggests they do it tonight! Sting looks like he's going to accept but RVD's music hits!

    RVD comes down to the ring and he says that someone finally gives RVD a fair shot around here, and it was Sting. He says he appreciates that Sting is giving him a title shot at Sacrifice and he calls him a standup guy. RVD says he's fine with Sting doing whatever he has to do to shutup Anderson as long as RVD still gets his shot. Anderson asks Sting what the answer is going to be. Sting accepts the challenge, but Hulk Hogan's music interrupts him.

    Hogan walks onto the stage with a lead pipe. Hogan says he loves the way Sting is using the clause the network gave him and just handing out title shots. Hogan mockingly says Sting is the greatest fighting champion TNA has ever had and then he says if a fight is what Sting wants then a fight is what he's going to get. Hogan says that little Title Match he just booked is a 3-Way now. Hogan says the new Champion after tonight will be BULLY RAY! Bully Ray walks onto the stage and stares down everyone in the ring. Hogan hands him the pipe and then says showtime.

    Back from commercials the camera dude asks Samoa Joe what his thoughts on Crimson are. Joe says he's impressive and he talks about Crimson taking Abyss out a few months ago. He says he thought that was a thing of beauty. Joe says Crimson has a lot of potential and then the camera guy talks about comparing Joe's winning streak back in the day compared to Crimson's now. Joe says what he did will never be duplicated and that will never be repeated. He says Crimson is undefeated but he's never been in the ring with Joe until tonight. Joe says Crimson will have to face one undeniable fact that when you're in the ring with Samoa Joe no matter what you always lose.

    Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

    Crimson attacks Joe at the bell and he connects with a forearm smash but Joe just shrugs it off and the two exchange strikes in the middle of the ring. Joe gets the better of the exchange connecting with repeated jabs. Joe then hits the ropes but eats a Big Boot from Crimson. Crimson locks Joe in a Cravate and connects with a Knee Strike, but then Joe starts laying in body shots on Crimson to break the Cravate. Crimson puts a knee in Joe's gut and then hits the ropes and goes for a clothesline, but Joe ducks and then explodes off the ropes himself and connects with a Leg Lariat! Joe follows up with jabs sending Crimson in the corner. He then whips Crimson in the opposite corner and connects with a Running Back Elbow followed by a Leaping Enziguri! Joe covers Crimson and gets the first nearfall of the match. Joe picks Crimson up but Crimson slaps Joe's arms away and starts hitting Joe with right hands. Joe comes back with a Knife Edge Chop and then he comes off the ropes only to eat a T-Bone Suplex! Crimson follows up with a Cravate into Knees followed by a Spinning Neckbreaker for a nearfall. Crimson picks Joe up and goes for a Scoop Slam but Joe connects with elbows and then he kicks Crimson in the face. Joe follows up with an Enziguri attempt but Crimson ducks it! Crimson then follows up with a Suplex but he wasn't able to lift Joe all the way up. Crimson follows up with a Knee Drop and then he picks Joe back up and connects with right hands. Joe answers with slaps but Crimson shoves him into the corner. Crimson whips him into the opposite corner and charges but Joe catches him in midair with a Standing Rock Bottom. Crimson rolls out of the ring and Joe follows. Joe tosses Crimson into the guardrail and then he charges at Crimson but eats a back elbow. Abyss runs down now and attacks Crimson to cause a DQ!

    Winner: Crimson

    Abyss stares Joe down but Joe just shrugs and walks away. Abyss tosses Crimson into the ring post and then into the ring steps. Abyss tosses Crimson back into the ring and then he climbs in and hits the Black Hole Slam.

    In the back Anderson is getting ready for his match later and he says winning is the only thing in wrestling and once again instead of having the one-on-one match he's been wanting he gets a 3-Way match. He says he won't sit around and whine and complain, he'll go out there and make chicken salad out of crap.

    In the back Kurt Angle is laughing and says Karen is making a complete fool of herself. He says Karen is way off and she doesn't even realize it. Kurt says last week she got covered in crap and now she's stepping in it. Kurt says Karen will meet her and maybe even next week. The camera guy asks if Karen knows her but Kurt says she doesn't know her at all and when she sees Ms. Angle, Karen will crap her pants.

    Mickie James' music hits and she makes her way out to the ring. Mickie says when she first got into wrestling 12 years ago the only thing she ever really wanted was to go down history as the greatest Women's Wrestler of All Time. She says that she wants most of all to dedicate her Knockouts Title win to the fans and she says the fans have stood by her through thick and thin. She says it's because of the fans she is standing there right now and all of the wrestlers can come out every night and live their dreams. Mickie says the fans make the wrestlers dreams a reality and because of that she loves the fans and thanks them.

    In the back Bully Ray is talking to Abyss. Ray says "Bully Ray: TNA World Heavyweight Champion" and he says that would really piss the wrestling world off. He says he would trade in all 23 Tag Team Title reigns for one TNA World Title reign, mainly because he won those Tag Titles with a slacker. He says now he gets to go beat up a punk and a guy with paint on his face. Ray says he finally gets HIS moment to be the guy that represents the company. He says he loves the sound of "Bully Ray: TNA World Heavyweight Champion."

    TNA World Heavyweight Championship
    Sting vs. Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

    The bell rings and Sting goes right after Anderson. He beats on Anderson and puts the boots to him while Ray just watches. Ray attacks Sting from behind now and starts beating on him. Ray tosses Sting into one corner and then into the next corner. Ray stomps on Anderson and then lights Sting up with a chop. Ray nails Sting with right hands and then he hits Sting with an elbow. Ray takes turns hitting Sting and Anderson and then he connects with a Sidewalk Slam on Sting for a nearfall before Anderson breaks it up. Anderson starts beating on Sting now and connects with a clothesline. Anderson gets a nearfall of his own before Ray pulls him off. Ray and Anderson exchange right hands until Sting clotheslines them both! Sting takes Ray and Anderson with rights and lefts. Sting tosses Anderson over the top to the floor and then clotheslines Ray for a nearfall. Sting hits the ropes but Anderson hits him from behind and then Ray nails him with a Big Boot. Anderson climbs up top but Ray crotches him and then slaps him. Ray flips Anderson into the ring and taunts him as we go to commercial.

    Back from the break Ray hits Anderson with a Vertical Suplex, 1...2...NO Anderson kicks out! Ray fish hooks Anderson and then hits him with an elbow. As Sting tries to get back in the ring Ray puts the boots to him. Anderson fights back on Ray but Ray cuts him off and then kicks him over. Ray connects with a Diving Headbutt and gets another nearfall before Anderson grabs the bottom rope. Ray chops away at Anderson in the corner with vicious chops. Ray and Anderson exchange forearms with Ray screaming at Anderson the whole time. Ray elbows Anderson in the head and then he kicks Sting in the ribs. Ray picks Anderson up and locks in a Front Headlock and then he tries to toss Anderson into the corner, but Anderson blocks it and connects with rights and lefts on Ray. Anderson attempts to whip Ray into the ropes but Ray reverses it only to eat a clothesline and then a back elbow from Anderson. Anderson follows up with a Spinning Neckbreaker! 1...2...NO Ray kicks out! Sting comes from out of nowhere with a clothesline on Anderson followed by a back elbow. Sting then hits the Stinger Splash on Anderson! Ray charges at Sting but Sting moves and Ray Splashes Anderson instead. Sting then goes for the Stinger Splash on Ray but he pulls the referee in the way! Ray clotheslines Sting and then picks up the pipe. Ray laughs and then levels Sting with it! He says "That was for Hogan!" AJ Styles comes from out of nowhere and attacks Ray! AJ knocks the pipe out of Ray's hands and connects with an Enziguri on Ray! Sting picks up the pipe and hits Ray with it as AJ rolls out of the ring! Sting covers Ray but the referee is still out! Brian Hebner comes in, 1...2...3!

    Winner: Sting

    In the back Ray says he should be TNA World Heavyweight Champion right now and he asks what business did AJ Styles have coming to the ring. He says he will take his anger out on AJ. He says if you thought he took it out on AJ before, he won't be so nice anymore. The camera man asks if he thought maybe that he had it coming. Ray: "what the hell did I ever do to AJ?" Ray says "so" when they say he almost ended AJ's career. Ray says AJ got his little payback at Lockdown but that wasn't good enough and now AJ cost him the World Title and now AJ will have to sleep with one eye open. Ray says next time he will Powerbomb AJ onto concrete. Ray says it may not be in his families best interest for AJ to show up next week. Ray says he's been in the ring with a lot badder, bigger, and tougher men than AJ Styles and he asks what AJ could possibly do to him. Ray says he's a "300 lb. wrecking machine" and a warrior and he's been through everything. Rays says "the golden boy of TNA's" numbers are over.

    We cut to Fortune and AJ says Ray will pay for trying to end his career. AJ says he has to provide for his family and then he shows his tattoo with his kids initials and says they mean the world to him.

    Now we cut to Steiner who says he beat Morgan again and he says Morgan is half the man that Steiner is. Steiner says he was a collegiate wrestler, Morgan was a collegiate basketball player and no one is scared of basketball players except maybe Badminton Players. Steiner says next week he's going to beat Morgan again.

    Jeff and Karen discuss Angle's woman. Jeff says this whole thing has gone too far.

    Velvet is pissed about Karen accusing her and then Angelina choking her out. Velvet says she knows Angelina is not of sound mind right now. She says she's tired of being mad.

    Back to Karen and Jeff and he asks Karen if there is someone that has a grudge against her. Karen tells Jeff that he needs to figure out who it is and then walks away.

  • #2
    Dinner conversation Friday-

    My 9 year old nephew- "My Dad and I watched TNA last night."

    My 9 year old daughter- "Why? Were you in trouble?"


    • #3

      I heard a similar joke at school 10 years ago but with WCW in place on TNA.