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Impact Wrestling Results
May 26th, 2011
We cut to the arena where we will kick off with a Tag Team Match.
Street Fight
Tommy Dreamer & Bully Ray vs AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels
AJ goes fright after Dreamer and Daniels goes after Ray at ringside. AJ keeps holding his neck everytime he hits Ray. They brawl into the crowd right off the bat. Ray rips Daniels shirt of and chops him. Dreamer tries to throw AJ over a wall as the fought up the steps but AJ stops him and tosses Dreamer off the balcony! AJ climbs up onto the balcony and dives off of it with a Plancha! Daniels pulls out a trash can and throws it into the ring followed by another one. They're both filled with weapons. Daniels levels Ray with several shots with a trashcan lid to the head. Daniels kicks Ray and then nails him again. Daniels goes for the BME but Ray gets his boot up! Ray then hits a Rock Bottom! 1...2...NO Daniels kicks out! AJ slides into the ring and ducks a kendo shot and hits the Pele! He again grabs his neck but then picks up a trash can lid and charges at Dreamer but Dreamer gets his boot up. Dreamer starts hitting Ray in the neck with clubbing shots repeatedly. Ray then grabs AJ and hits a Hangmans Neckbreaker. Dreamer hits a Neckbreaker of his own on AJ and then Ray picks him up and hits yet another Neckbreaker. Dreamer knocks Daniels off the apron. Ray picks AJ up and sets up for a Piledriver as Dreamer climbs up top. Daniels jumps up and crotches Dreamer on the top rope! He then tosses Ray into Dreamer in the corner and hits an Enziguri! AJ gets to his feet and levels Ray with a kendo stick! AJ grabs Dreamer and lifts him up for a Piledriver and Daniels dives off the top! SPIKE PILEDRIVER! 1...2...3!
Winners: AJ Styles & Christopher Daniels
Next is The Scorpion Sitdown. It is supposed to be a sitdown with Sting but it's Mr. Anderson dressed up like the old school surfer Sting. Anderson welcomes us to the very first ever Scorpion Sitdown and he says it's a sitdown because its obvious he can no longer wrestle so he will do what every wrestler does in his twilight, have an interview segment. He welcomes someone from Sting's past...DISCO INFERNO!
Anderson says Disco saw everything, the crappy Vanilla Ice flattop, the clown makeup, the Liberache outfits, and everything from Sting. Disco says he didn't know why Anderson wanted him here and why he flew him out all the way from Vegas but he gets it now. He says Anderson wants to know the truth about Sting and he'll tell him. Disco starts to tell him but Anderson does Sting's howl and then Disco starts again and Anderson screams IT'S SHOWTIME and howls again. Disco says Anderson can keep cutting him out but he's going to listen to what he has to say whether he likes it or not. Disco says everything Sting did, he always had respect from everyone and whether Anderson likes it or not, Anderson knows he painted his face like every other kid as a Sting fan growing up. Disco says that's why they call him an icon. Anderson says he's had enough and he says this his show and Disco follows. Anderson says he didn't fly Disco out to sing Sting's praises, he flew him out to bury Sting. He says that's what this was designed for. He asks if Disco has anything to add to bury Sting.
Disco says he isn't going to bury Sting but he would like to tell Anderson one thing. Anderson asks Disco what he just said and Disco says he didn't stutter and then stands up and calls Anderson a dick again while he does the disco dance and drops Anderson's mic down from the rafters. Anderson grabs the mic and laughs and then nails Disco with it! Anderson continues to beat on Disco with the mic and he's busted open. Anderson beats the heck out of Disco and then Sting's music hits! Sting walks down and jumps into the ring but Anderson bails out and escapes through the crowd as Sting checks on Disco.
Back from commercials Eric Young is searching for Gunner and walks into the bathroom looking for him. Young finds him and Gunner is about to beat the heck out of him, but Young asks for 5 minutes to explain himself. Gunner gives himself one. Young says this whole thing is a big misunderstanding. He says he understands that he didn't win the Battle Royal and he just mistakenly took Gunner's belt after it. Young says he came up with an idea to make Gunner 2nd in command in Immortal. Young talks about Hogan and Nash in '99, the finger poke of doom. He suggests laying down for Gunner in the ring and he'll give Gunner his belt back and Gunner will give him his belt back. He says he'll earn extra points from Hogan for beating him. Gunner says either Young will lay down or he will put Young down. As Young walks away Gunner says he's an idiot.
Velvet Sky walks down to the ring. Velvet says she and ODB have some unfinished business to attend to and that sneak attack doesn't work for her. She wants ODB to walk out there and tell Velvet what her problem is.
ODB walks down and gets into the ring. Velvet asks her what her problem is and ODB says about a year ago she got a phone call from management saying she was no longer needed in TNA. ODB says she tried to figure out if it was because she had no talent or her attitude or because she had no ability, but she said it was none of the above but it was Velvet that got her fired. Velvet asks how that is and she doesn't have anything against anyone and everyone blames everything on her. She says that she's sick of it and has earned her spot in TNA and she proved herself. She says everything she's accomplished she's worked for. ODB calls Velvet plastic. ODB asks Velvet is she's about to cry and she'll give her something to cry about. She shoves Velvet down and starts beating Velvet. ODB chokes Velvet and starts screaming at Velvet until security runs out and pulls ODB off.
In the back Beer Money is in Eric Bischoff's office. He says the doctor doesn't think Roode should wrestle and they have to defend the belts at Slammiversary. Bischoff says if he isn't cleared then they'll get the belts stripped. Storm says Roode will never get cleared for Slammiversary and he has to know by next week. Bischoff mocks Storm being a hillbilly and suggests maybe Storm has some kind of redneck healing he can do. Storm says he can't heal Roode but he can stick his foot up Bischoff's butt. Bischoff says he could do that but he will never work in TNA again if he does. Bischoff says while they contemplate their future and Roode's ability to heal under pressure they can think about that and he tells Beer Money sorry bout your damn luck. Storm slaps papers off of Bischoff's desk and says sorry bout your damn papers as they walk out.
We get clips from Xplosion as Tenay talks about a confrontation that went down with Pope and Devon over Pope messing with Devon's wife. Pope backstage talks about Devon's kids looking up to Pope and Devon's wife looking up to him too. Pope says there is no better role model for them to look up to. Pope says Devon needs to chill and hop on his bandwagon too.
Jeff Jarrett vs Matt Morgan
Jeff pokes Morgan eyes and then climbs up top and hits a Flying Cross Body! 1...2...NO Morgan shoves Jeff off him. Jeff hits Morgan with a right hand and then tries to whip Morgan into the corner but Morgan reverses it and hits a big Corner Splash followed by his back elbows. Morgan then connects with a Sidewalk Slam for a nearfall. Morgan then whips Jarrett into the corner and sidesteps Jarrett's attempted float over out of the corner. Morgan then grabs Jeff by the back of the neck and slams him into the turnbuckles. Morgan then goes for the Carbon Footprint but Jarrett sidesteps him and Morgan kicks the corner turnbuckles. Jarrett then starts stomping on that leg and then attempts to whip Morgan into the ropes but Morgan reverses it. Morgan goes for a back elbow but Jarrett ducks and then attempts a Cross Body Block, but Morgan catches him in midair and hits a Fall Away Slam! Karen hobbles to ringside as Morgan gets a nearfall. Morgan goes for a Powerslam but Jarrett blocks it only to eat a Michinoku Driver! 1...2...NO Jarrett kicks out! Karen hands Jeff one of her crutches as Morgan argues with the referee. Morgan shoves the referee away and walks right into a shot from the crutch. Jarrett then grabs Morgan and hits the Stroke! 1...2...NO Morgan kicks out! Hebner argues with Karen as Jeff dives off the top. Morgan catches Jeff in midair by the throat! Morgan goes for a Chokeslam but instead drops him onto Morgan's knee with a Chokeslam Atomic Drop! Morgan follows up with the Carbon Footprint! Karen trips Earl Hebner as he was going to make the count, Hebner argues with Karen and tells her to leave. Scott Steiner slides into the ring and hits the Steiner Flatliner on Morgan! He rolls Jarrett onto Morgan and then hides under the ring, 1...2...3!
Winner: Jeff Jarrett
We cut to the ring where Bischoff is standing in the middle and telling the fans how he loves each and every one of them. He says people may ask him why he's smiling right now, but he has a lot to be happy about. He says last week Hogan laid everything out for the Network last week and they finally understand Mick Foley has no clue about the wrestling business. He welcomes Hulk Hogan down to the ring.
Hulk says Bischoff is exactly right and all it took was a good old fashioned sitdown. He says it was completely unanimous that there is only one man that can sail the ship around TNA and that's Hulk Hogan. Hulk says after picking his brain for hours they realized that his genius for the business whipped out any motives they thought he had. He claims that with Foley sitting right there the Network gave him a standing ovation. He says it's clear sailing from here on out but he walks to talk about Bischoff right now. He says what Bischoff did last week and single handedly wiped the X-Division that had been around for 9 years completely out was genius. Hogan says the X-Division just doesn't matter and Bischoff was the only one that did something about it. Mick Foley walks down to the ring.
Hogan looks surprised that Foley is in the building. Hogan says no one invited Foley out there but Foley says he doesn't need an invitation because he's a network executive. Foley says Hogan may have fooled some people but after Hogan walked out the only thing he succeeded in doing was pissing the network off. Foley says once Hogan left he took Spike on a little trip down memory lane and reminded him how the X-Division was what put TNA on the map and that the X-Division was what made TNA different and what made this company better in his opinion. Foley says they couldn't have a show where wrestling matters without the X-Division so not only will the X-Division remain but it will soar to heights it never had previously. Foley says for the next few weeks he will be scanning the globe for the best X-Division wrestlers in the world and in July he will be putting all those guys together in a little thing they call ULTIMATE X!
Bischoff says he knows Foley spent his entire career bouncing his head off thumbtacks and that somehow makes him an expert on the X-Division, but he has to remind Foley that he has nothing to do with PPV so nice try. Foley says while its true it will be a PPV, the truth is that it's the network that promotes the PPV's so unless they think they can put on a PPV without the help of the network then he'll see them at DESTINATION X! Hogan says since Foley thinks the X-Division is so great and is going to flourish so much then why wait! He suggests Foley do something to really help the X-Division and says he's giving Foley the opportunity to face Abyss for the X-Division Title! Hogan asks if that Hardcore Legend is still alive or if it's dead and gone and hiding behind the network. Brian Kendrick's music interrupts them!
Kendrick, Generation Me, and Amazing Red walk onto the stage. Kendrick says God is talking through me, not to me, time to get moving, towards our...DESTINY. Bischoff suggests Kendrick has been into RVD's stash. Kendrick says his purpose is to eradicate Hogan and Bischoff. Hogan tells Kendrick and his three little pimples to get out of the ring. Kendrick thinks it's funny how they want to put Foley in an X-Division match but asks wouldn't it be even funnier if Kendrick was the brunt of that joke...BROTHER! Hogan tells Kendrick that if he has something to say he better say it before he crucifies him. Kendrick says he wants the match and Hogan mocks Kendrick wanting to fight Abyss. Foley agrees with it. Hogan says this will be even better than him popping that pimple. Hogan says the blood will be on Foley's hands for this one. Foley hypes the X-Division guys up as Hogan & Bischoff laughs at them.
Mickie James vs Winter
Mickie and Winter lockup and Mickie gets Winter in a Hammerlock but Winter elbows her in the face. Winter grabs Mickie by the head and slams her to the mat and gets a nearfall. She then grabs Mickie but Mickie hits her in the stomach and then a series of Forearms. Mickie attempts to whip Winter into the corner but Winter counters into a Bridging Northern Lights Suplex! 1...2...NO Mickie kicks out! Winter puts the boots to Mickie and then she picks Mickie up by the hair and taunts her. Mickie comes back with a Jawbreaker and then a Snapmare Takeover followed by a sliding dropkick! Mickie picks Winter up but Winter shoves her into the corner. Mickie answers with a back elbow and then she lifts herself up into the air and into the Mickiecanrana! Mickie follows with a Running Forearm and then a Flapjack! Mickie gets up to her feet and then she picks Winter up but Winter pokes her in the eyes. Winter then goes for her Swinging Backbreaker, but Mickie blocks it and hits the Mickie-DT! 1...2...3!
Winner: Mickie James
Angelina attacks Mickie and knocks her out of the ring. Angelina then starts stomping away on Mickie and punching her repeatedly. Angelina grabs Mickie and throws her into the ring steps! Angelina goes to check on Winter and then stares at Mickie.
In the back Abyss talks behind a cage and says that Bischoff has given him the greenlight to destroy Kendrick and he says he will systematically exterminate the X-Division. He says its not about weight limits, it's about no limits. As Abyss walks away, Kazarian attacks him from behind. Abyss screams in agony and then Kaz picks up Janice and says you're never going to use her again and walks away.
TNA X-Division Championship
Abyss vs Brian Kendrick
Kendrick dives through the ropes with a kick onto Abyss on the floor! Kendrick beats on Abyss relentlessly on the floor until Abyss shoves him away. Abyss goes nuts and charges after Kendrick but Kendrick sidesteps him and Abyss runs into the ring steps. Kendrick then starts kicking away at Abyss with Leg Kicks. Abyss rolls into the ring and Kendrick hits a Running Forearm on Abyss and then he hits the ropes but Abyss grabs him by the throat. Kendrick then bites his hand to block the Chokeslam! Abyss grabs him with the other hand but Kendrick slaps it away and then slides underneath Abyss's legs and connects with a forearm and then a dropkick. Kendrick hits the ropes but eats a back elbow from Abyss. Abyss rakes Kendrick's eyes in the corner and then picks him up and whips him into the opposite corner hard. Abyss then squashes Kendrick with a big Corner Splash. He then mocks the fans and picks Kendrick up and lays into him with right hands. Kendrick fights back with body shots and then hits the ropes and dives at Abyss but Abyss catches him in a Bearhug! Kendrick starts gauging Abyss in the eyes and punches away at him. Kendrick then hits the ropes but eats a Big Boot from Abyss! Abyss beats on Kendrick further and picks up and shows off his power with a Gorilla Press. He tries to throw Kendrick out of the ring with it but Kendrick blocks it and hits a Dropkick. Kendrick then hits the ropes and connects with another dropkick. Kendrick climbs up top and dives off with a Missile Dropkick! 1...2...NO Abyss powers out! Kendrick climbs up top again but Abyss rolls behind the referee so that the referee is standing between Kendrick and Abyss. Kendrick screams at the referee to move but this time allows Abyss to get up and hit the top rope crotching Kendrick. Abyss then pulls Kendrick into the Black Hole Slam! 1...2...3!
Winner: Abyss
Abyss looks into the camera and says in the Art of War, Sun Tzu says my invincibility lies in my defense and tonight my defense was a human shield!
TNA Television Championship
Gunner vs Eric Young
Gunner gets in Young's face and Young says he's going to lay down for him. Gunner pokes him and Young sells it with a bump. Gunner reaches down to pin but Young reaches up with an Inside Cradle! 1...2...3!
Winner & NEW Television Champion: Eric Young
Gunner chases Young around the ring after the match but Young grabs the belt and takes off! Gunner chases him to the back.
Kurt Angle vs Rob Van Dam
RVD and Angle circle each other and lockup and Angle gets RVD in a Side Headlock, but RVD shoves him into the ropes but eats a shoulder block. Angle hits the ropes but RVD drops down in a split so Angle leaps over him. RVD rolls backwards in an attempt to Monkey Flip Angle, but Angle grabs his foot and rolls him through. Angle grabs him by the waist and goes for a German, but RVD counters and goes for one of his own. Angle hits him with a back elbow and then hits the ropes only to eat a spinning heel kick and then a Superkick! RVD follows up with Rolling Thunder and Angle rolls out to the floor to catch a breather. Angle climbs back into the ring and they lockup again. This time Angle gets him in a Side Headlock again and hits a Side Headlock Takeover. RVD fights it and fights up to his feet and shoves Angle into the ropes only to eat another shoulder block. Angle hits the ropes and RVD goes for a Backdrop but Angle kicks him. RVD then explodes with a spinning heel kick out of nowhere! RVD then hits a Rolling Monkey Flip out of the corner! RVD then hits the ropes but Angle catches him with a Belly-to-Belly Suplex! Angle picks RVD up and hits a Snap Suplex for a nearfall. He gets a 2nd nearfall and then he locks in a Waistlock on RVD on the mat. RVD fights to his feet and counters out of the hold and hits a back elbow. RVD hits the ropes but eats a Running Knee from Angle for another nearfall. Angle locks in a Rear Chinlock on RVD on the mat trying to ground the striker/high flyer. Angle puts his knee in the back of RVD as he pulls back on the hold. RVD fights it and gets to his knees and then up to his feet and breaks the hold with elbows, but Angle cuts him off with shots to the back. Angle tries to throw RVD into the corner but RVD blocks it with his foot and then connects with a Front Kick with the other foot! RVD connects with Forearm Smashes on Angle and then he attempts to whip Angle into the ropes but Angle reverses it. Angle goes for a Backdrop but RVD backflips over Angle. Angle tries to kick RVD but RVD catches his foot and hits the Stepover Heel Kick! RVD follows up with a Running Shoulder Block in the corner. RVD then attempts to whip Angle into the opposite corner but Angle reverses it. Angle charges at RVD but RVD hits him with a back elbow and then springs to the top and dives off with a Liger Kick! 1...2...NO Angle kicks out! RVD hits Angle with a Forearm and then he attempts to whip Angle into the ropes but Angle counters into a German Suplex! 1...2...NO RVD kicks out! Angle measures RVD up and goes for the Angle Slam but RVD counters into a Spike DDT! RVD gets to his feet and climbs up top, but Angle follows him right up springing to the top and connecting with the Belly-to-Belly Superplex! 1...2...NO RVD kicks out! Angle grabs RVD's ankle and locks in the Ankle Lock! RVD fights it and pushes himself up with his arms and then and then rolls over and starts kicking Angle! He finally kicks Angle off and then hits a Spinning Heel Kick! RVD climbs back up top and dives off with the 5-Star Frog Splash! Angle rolls out of the way and hits the Angle Slam! 1...2...3!
Winner: Kurt Angle
Angle and Jarrett stare each other down at the close of the show.
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