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Possible Wedding Gifts For Ben Roethlisberger And His Confused New Fiancé
Ben Roethlisberger is getting married…. to a woman…. who explicitly used the word “yes.”
Since the happy couple has yet to register for the upcoming nuptials, we thought it would be helpful to take a look at possible presents to help the Roethlisbergers begin their new life together. Finding a gift that effectively says “Your Parents Must Not Watch the News” became a lot harder when Wal-Mart closed down their poor decisions aisle.
A Giant, Pink “I’m Sorry” Diamond - Kobe Bryant established that oversized jewelry is the only acceptable way to apologize to your wife after being implicated in a sexual assault investigation. Giving Big Ben three carats to keep handy “just in case,” would be a thoughtful way to say “I’ve got your back, buddy.”
A Gift Card to a Local Law Firm – You never know if they’ll actually use one from Applebee’s or Home Depot. Better play it safe.
The Internet - Clearly this young woman didn’t have access to it last August.
Cash – If there’s no NFL season, Roethlisberger may need the money. $113 million doesn’t stretch as far as it used to.
Pittsburgh Pirates Tickets - Spending a quiet day alone in an empty ballpark could be very romantic. Why not give them the gift of peace and quiet?
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