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...You've ever used a bathtub as a punch bowl.
...You broke a toe when you dropped your belt buckle on it.
...You've ever worn flip-flops to a funeral home.
...You have visitation rights to a dog.
...You continue to show your cleavage years after anyone wants to see it.
...You can't remember where your lawn mower is.
...You've ever flirted over a drive-thru window speaker.
...You've ever picked birdshot out of your fried chicken.
...You've ever told a bill collector you were dead.
...You named each of your children after the car they were conceived in.
...Your voice changed while you were in the second grade
...You broke a toe when you dropped your belt buckle on it.
...You've ever worn flip-flops to a funeral home.
...You have visitation rights to a dog.
...You continue to show your cleavage years after anyone wants to see it.
...You can't remember where your lawn mower is.
...You've ever flirted over a drive-thru window speaker.
...You've ever picked birdshot out of your fried chicken.
...You've ever told a bill collector you were dead.
...You named each of your children after the car they were conceived in.
...Your voice changed while you were in the second grade
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